Instead of the usual musician or candy-seller, we encountered a gymnast performing for money on the 4 train this afternoon. With a boombox playing Michael Jackson and a mouthful of one-liners, he did one-arm flips and off the ceiling-mounted bars, then tried to entertain us as he asked for money.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “if I didn’t kick you in the head, you got nothing to be angry at.”

“Gentlemen, if you can’t do this, please donate accordingly.”

“Ladies, if your man can’t do this, please come to my place… it’s right by the subway and I have cable.”

Across from us, a 7-year-old boy turned to his mother: “We should go to his place.”

Drafted 2007/09/03 at 9:56 pm. Published unedited.